Infidelity leading to pregnancy after 17 years of marriage is what Bob and Audrey Meisner went through, but God's miraculous work brought them back together.
Focus on the Family President and author Jim Daly and his radio show co-host John Fuller spoke to the Meisners, who have doctorates in ministry and are authors of Marriage Undercover: Thriving in a Culture of Quiet Desperation. The two-part episode is titled "Overcoming the Obstacles of Infidelity."
The couple, who are now married for about 34 years and were pastoring a church at the time, had been married for 17 years and had three children. Busyness is what defined their lives.
"Even when I feel desperate, I have to wake up and be determined and be selfless," Audrey recalls. "And any time the hidden me, the girl Audrey that was hiding behind all this desperation that just wanted to be heard, whenever she would rise up and start to feel sad, I would just shut her down and say, no, we are not selfish people. Audrey, you get up and do what you're supposed to do. So I hid that part of Audrey that was desperately asking for help. And I just shut her down. And I kept working."
Amid the busyness, a young guy started coming to their church, and "he started to bring me the way I felt comfort," Audrey shares. "He was speaking to that Audrey. He was the only one — and I was craving that so desperately, so thirsty for that drink of water that when he complimented me and comforted me in the way that that Audrey felt heard, I started to let down my defenses and I started to crave more and more and more of it."
She thought she didn't need any boundaries that other people had because "I'm so strong."
"So, I can go for lunch and I can write emails and I can eat alone with this guy because he's younger than me. I'm kind of helping him. … The friendship that we thought was so innocent is — it did — just took a matter of time because I began to compromise."
Now, Audrey says, she believes "100 percent" there's no such thing as a "small compromise."
Looking back, Bob says, "If you're having to keep it secret, if you're not wanting other people to know, then right away, you're already, you know, crossing a dangerous line there."
He recalls, "I was having some uncomfortable feelings. And so I'd ask her. And she's like, no, no, everything's fine, everything's safe."
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